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How to be happy is broken ...

happy poems

There is no way to isolate ourselves mistakes. You can memorize everything you can spend magna cum laude, and more degrees than a thermometer ... I still make mistakes. No one is immune. There is no vaccine. There is no pill to make you perfect. Get up and know that you are pretty anyway. There is no formula for a perfect life. In fact, did you know there are two kinds of happiness knew! (You do, but you were probably not even aware of.) And how happiness is all wrong. Let happiness-in-the-moment, so we should go for happiness-in-the-memory happy poems   .

What is amazing (that measured this) is that my happiness-in-the-moment can be larger, but my happiness-in-the-memory which is most important for my overall sense of well-being. IE can go through a terrible experience, but if I can remember in a positive way, the experience gives a feeling of happiness. And it is this memory of happiness is more important that I give my life, as if he is happy or not. On the contrary, we can be happy about something at the time, but if we do not remember in a happy way, that can ruin the whole experience. We already know. We have a term for this: "buyer's remorse". ... "The honeymoon period" ... "seemed like a good idea at the time." I can be very happy right now, but I remember that in a negative light, all the momentary joy is meaningless. And we can be enjoying and experience and having a great old time, but if it was ruined at the last second, the whole experience was ruined. We were happy with 99% of cases. But that 1% because it was the last one percent, makes or breaks happy poems.

Is not it funny how our minds work?
Here's the guy who did the science behind it:




There was a ski trip that my family should take a year where everything went wrong. Our plane was delayed for several hours, so we do not go on the field until about midnight. We were all children at the time, we were exhausted. When we finally squeezed into the rental car, the first to start. So we have everything on, say in the next rental car, only to find once we left the lot (of course), that the gas gauge was not working. Third car rentals, and we are finally on the right track, but to go through so many errors and injustices on the trip (the hot water heater in our, the replacement disk unit self-destructed we got wouldn Door 't close ...) that just pleasure. It was so absurd and so was bad we ended up laughing all at the end. It was something National Lampoon family vacation. And if it was the feast of hell, we still laugh about it today. At the time, we were unhappy. We were happy about it since happy poems.

I have the power to be happy with all my memories, if I want. It is true that there are bad memories that are likely to remain poor. Hot does not mean still warm, and the fire burns ... But even if the experience was terrible, I must remind the terrible experience. College was very difficult for me constantly full of stress, financial worries, poor health and experience of almost constant performance anxiety. But I'm through. And I can look back with pride all that experience, but I'm a mess right now. The same for my health experiences. They are horrible to go! But when the victory of the other side, I can look back and be proud of myself to go through all this. I ,, bright white scars clearly visible on the face of the fight MRSA (which nearly killed me). But I do not hide the scars with makeup. You should know that I was going battle. I am proud, I survived. Scars tell the story happy poems .

I can not even help write the story of happiness soon. I can look at my life and think, "Now when I look back now, this will I be grateful?" Thinking about my life in those terms, I can not get happiness in the future, and experience a taste of it now. For me, even if I am desperately trying to return to a "normal" life, I look back at this moment and be thankful for all the research I could do. I got to let my wandering curiosity and pursue what is fascinating and I find amazing things (including video above). From memory, I know now is more important than experience, I can see my life I remember, then the experience is not that difficult. Right now, right now, you can break anything you want, if I remember with joy, that is what counts. I can break in many ways, but I do remember is my pleasure, that's what matters happy poems.

Is a different meaning of a happy life؟


Philosophers, scientists, spiritual leaders-they've all discussed what makes life worth living. Is it a life filled with happiness and a life filled with purpose and meaning? Is there even a difference between the two؟

Think of activist human rights who fights oppression but ended up in jail she is happy? Or social animal who spends his nights (and days) jumping from party to party-This is the good life؟
These are not just academic questions. They can help us determine should, if we invest our energy to live the life we ​​want .
Recently, some researchers have explored these issues in depth, trying to sort out the differences between a dignified and happy. Their research suggests that there is more to life than happiness and even calls into question some earlier findings from the field of positive psychology, which earned him both a good amount of press coverage and criticism happy poems.
The controversy surrounding it raises big questions about whos that means happiness: Although there may be more to life than happiness, can also be more "happiness" that pleasure alone.
Five differences between a happy life and a different meaning happy poems
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"A happy life and have some significant differences of life," says Roy Baumeister, a Francis Eppes Professor of psychology at Florida State University. I base this claim on a paper I published last year in the Journal of Positive Psychology, coauthor with researchers from the University of Minnesota and Stanford .
Baumeister and his colleagues surveyed 397 adults, seeking correlations between their levels of happiness, meaning, and various other aspects of their lives: their behavior, moods, relationships, health, stress levels, a life work, creative activities, and more.
They found that a meaningful life and a happy life often go hand in hand, but not always. And they were curious to learn more about the differences between the two. Their statistical analysis tried to separate what brought meaning to his life, but not happiness, and what makes happiness, but not the meaning happy poems
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Their results suggest that meaning (as distinct from happiness) is not connected to That one is healthy, you have enough money, or feels comfortable in life, all happiness (distinct sense) is . Specifically, the researchers identified five major differences between a happy life and a different meaning .
Happy people satisfy their wants and needs, but that seems largely irrelevant to a meaningful life. THEREFORE, health, wealth, and ease in life were all linked to happiness, but not the meaning.
Happiness is to be focused on the present, meaning implies considering that thinking about the past, present and future and the relationship between them. Also, was considered the ephemeral happiness, while relevance seemed to last longer.
Meaningfulness is derived to give to others; happiness comes from what they give you. Social ties, Well were both associated with happiness and meaning, happiness was more connected to one receives benefits of social relationships, friendships in particular, while appropriateness is related to what one gives others, for example, taking care of children. Along these lines, "takers" self-described were happier that describes "donors", and spending time with friends happiness was associated with more sense, considering that spend more time with their families was related to the direction but not happiness happy poems
.
Involve significant life stress and challenges. Higher levels of anxiety, stress and anxiety associated with higher significance were lower than the happiness, suggesting that the commitment in difficult or challenging situations that are beyond oneself or its pleasures Enhances meaning, but not happiness.
Self-expression is important sense, but not happiness. Do things to express oneself and attentive ACERCA and cultural identity are linked to a personal meaning to life, but not happy. For example, it considers itself to be wise or associated with Sens was creative, but not happiness.
One of the most surprising results of the study was to give to others that was associated with Meaning, rather than happiness, while taking other has not been linked to happiness and meaning. Although many researchers have found a link between the gift and happiness, esta Baumeister argues that the connection is due to how we attribute meaning to the act of giving.
"If we look only help others, the simple fact is that people who help others are happier," said Baumeister. But when you eliminate the effects of sense of happiness and vice versa, I say, "then helping the least happy people brands, so that all the effect of helping happiness comes by way of increasing significance. "
The study raises some provocative questions Baumeister on research in the relationship of positive psychology that kind, helpful or -Activity "pro-social" for the happiness and well-being. Yet His research has also triggered a debate About what psychologists and the rest of us, it really means happiness when we talk happy poems
.
What is happiness, anyway?

Researchers, like other people, have disagreed about the definition of "happiness" and how to measure.

Having a little happiness equated emotional states or even transient spikes of activity in the brain's pleasure centers, while others have asked people to rate their life satisfaction or happiness together. Some researchers, such as Ed Diener of the University of Illinois, a pioneer in the field of positive psychology, tried to combine these aspects of happiness together under the term "subjective well-being," which includes evaluation positive and negative emotions and overall life satisfaction. These differences in the definitions of happiness unavailable sometimes leads to contradictory results or even confusion.
For example, in the study of Baumeister family relationships-as parenting tended to be associated with this means more happiness. Support for this conclusion comes from researchers such as Robin Simon of Wake Forest University, which looked at levels of happiness among 1,400 adults and found that parents reported the general emotion less positive and negative emotions more than those without children. It concluded that, while parents may report more meaning and purpose to nonparents, in general, they are less happy than their childless peers.
What irritates happiness researcher Sonja find Lyubormirsky of the University of California, Riverside, the lowest which is in disagreement with the studies "trying too hard to comment on anything related to happiness" From their analysis, but to draw conclusions about happiness.
"Imagine all that you think would be great about parenting or being a parent," says Lyubomirsky. "If you check that if you go out of the equation, then of course the parents go for a lot less happy."
In a recent study, she and her colleagues measured happiness and sense levels among parents, both in a "global" have to assess their happiness and life satisfaction and overall in the performance of their daily activities . The results show that in general parents were happier and more satisfied with life than non-parents, parents and pleasure and meaning found in childcare activities, even in the very moments when they were ones engaged in activities.
"Being a parent leads to all these good things: it gives you the meaning of life, it gives you to pursue goals, it can make you feel more connected in your relationships," says Lyubomirsky. "You can not really understand Talk About happiness without all of them."
That feels Lyubomirsky WHO researchers try to separate meaning and happiness can be on the wrong track, because meaning and happiness are inseparable.
"When you feel happy, and you take part of the meaning of happiness, it is not really happy," she said happy poems.
Yet Basically this is how Baumeister and his colleagues defined happiness for the purpose of their study. Thus, while the study referred to "happiness," says Lyubomirsky, maybe he was actually looking for something more like "hedonistic pleasure" -the share of happiness implies feel good without involving the deep satisfaction of life.
Is there pleasure without happiness?

But is it not a useful way to separate pleasure?
Some researchers have taken to looking at what they call "eudaimonic happiness" or the happiness that comes from significant prosecutions, and "hedonic happiness" -the that happiness comes from pleasure or goal achievement.
A recent study by Steven Cole, UCLA School of Medicine, and Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, found people who reported that the system function more happiness eudaimonic stronger immune HAD those who reported more than hedonic happiness, suggesting that life meaning may be better for our health than life seeking pleasure.
Similarly, a 2008 article published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, noted several positive health effects associated with happiness eudaimonic, including less stress reactivity, less insulin resistance (meaning less chance of developing diabetes), higher HDL ("good") cholesterol levels, better sleep, and brain activity patterns that have been linked to decreased levels of depression.
But the researcher Elizabeth Dunn happiness Think the distinction between happiness and hedonic eudaimonic is cloudy happy poems
.

"I think it is an intuitive distinction that makes a lot of sense, but whos does not take up under the lens of science," said Dunn, associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia.
Dunn is the author of many studies showing that increases in giving happiness to others, both in the moment, as measured by the only positive emotions, and in terms of overall life satisfaction. In an article published recently, she and colleagues from several countries surveyed data and found evidence of support for the esta connection, conclusions, including showed that subjects randomized to buy items for charity reported higher levels of positive emotion a measure of hedonic happiness than Participants Assigned to buy the same items for themselves, even when spending does not have to build or strengthen social ties.
"I think my own work really supports the idea that the welfare and hedonic eudaimonic are surprisingly similar and are not as different as one might expect," says Dunn. "To say that there is way street, and that is different from the way for fun, is false."
As Lyubomirsky, she insists meaning and happiness go hand in hand. It emphasizes the work of researchers who found that positive emotions can help make connections that deeper social Many argue is the most significant part of life and at the University of Missouri research psychologist Laura King, found that what helps people to feel positive emotions see the "big picture" and the methods of communication, which can help one purpose for the most significant activities and interpret his experience as significant.
In addition, it argues that the measures used to distinguish eudaimonic hedonic happiness are too strongly correlated to part with this statistically speaking, this can make you unreliable results.
As the University of Pennsylvania psychologist James Coyne AS-Dunn, a "hardhead" -wrote statistic in a 2013 blog post, trying to distinguish eudaimonic welfare by controlling hedonic well-being and other factors With leaves you some something that is not really eudaimonia at all. I compare it to take a photo of siblings who are similar, the remove anything that makes it look like another, and then a still calling the pictures representing siblings.
"If we were talking about people, we probably could not even recognize a family resemblance between the two," I wrote.
In other words, just because it is statistically possible to eliminate the influence of one on the other variable that does not mean that you end up with what is something truly distinct.
"If your package Can a sense of happiness, happiness factor go," says Dunn. "But in terms of everyday experiences of people, is it the case whos That people are faced with trade-offs between happiness real and meaning? I do not believe him."
Can you have it all?

Baumeister, however, clearly convinced that it is useful to make distinctions between meaning and happiness, in part to encourage more people to seek meaningful activities in life if doing Donne or do not feel happy. Yet I recognize that the two are closely linked.
"Having a sense of life contributes to being happy and being happy may also help to find meaningful life," I say. "What I think is evidence for two of them."
But one piece of warning: If you aim for a strictly hedonistic enjoyment of life, you can be on the wrong path to find happiness. "For centuries, traditional wisdom has been that simply looking for fun itself does not really make you happy in the long run," I say.
In fact, the pursuit of happiness without sense would probably be a stressful proposition, aggravating and annoying, supports Baumeister.
Instead, when aspiring to a life well lived, it would be more logical to look for things that you find meaningful relationships depth, altruism and targeted self-expression, for example-than looking for the one pleasure ... even if pleasure increases the sense of meaning, as King suggests.
"Working with long-term goals do things that the company holds in achieving respect-ups or moral reasons," I say. "You draw meaning from a broader context, so you need to look beyond even find purpose in what you do."
Chances are that you will find pleasure and happiness along the way toohappy poems
.