Be positive, look on the bright side of things, stay focused on success: so goes our modern mantra. But perhaps the true path to happiness is learning to be a loser
In an ordinary business park outside the city of Ann Arbor, Michigan, there is a poignant memorial broken dreams of humanity. Not appear, from the outside, however. Even when you're inside - that members of the public rarely - it takes a while for your eyes to adjust to what you see. It seems to be a large supermarket and randomly organized; along each corridor, gray metal shelves are filled with thousands of food packages and household products. Cacophonous something unusual on the screen, and are soon working on reason: Unlike a real supermarket, is not only one of each item. And you will not find many of them in a real supermarket, anyway: they are failures, products withdrawn from sale after a few weeks or months, because almost nobody wanted to buy. In product design company, store - operated by a company called GfK Custom Research North America - has acquired a nickname: the Museum of the products failed.
This is the graveyard of consumer capitalism - on the side of optimism shadow culture focus of modern marketing success. Or at least greatly: it is almost certain that the only place on earth where there is a touch of yogurt shampoo Clairol to the sides of Gillette as unpopular For Oily Hair Only a few feet of empty bottle of Pepsi Petit h Breakfast Cola (born 1989; died 1990). The museum is home to abandoned trademarks beer containing caffeine; to dinners with television brand toothpaste maker Colgate logo; Self-heating cans of soup that had a tendency to explode in the faces of the customers; and packets of mints that had to be withdrawn from sale because it seemed small crack packages provided by the streets of drug dealers in the United States. Microwaved scrambled eggs - scrambled and pre-packaged in a cardboard tube with a pop-up mechanism to facilitate the consumption in the car - will die.
It is a Japanese term, mono no aware, vaguely translates to "pathos of things": a kind of bittersweet to the transience of life melancholy capture - that extra beauty imparted to the cherry blossoms, for example, or human traits as a result of his time on Earth inevitably fleeting. The concept that suggests that this is the way the owner of the museum, elegance GfK employee named Carol Sherry feels cartons of juice extends only slightly dependent Banana morning, or Fortune Snookies a line fleeting fortune cookies for dogs. Every failure, the way she sees it, embodies its own sad story of designers, marketers and sellers. He is never far from his mind that real people had their mortgages, car payments and your family vacation riding on the success of products like a touch of yogurt.
"I'm very sorry for the developer in this case," says Sherry, indicating that seemed mints inadvertently crack. "I mean, I met the guy. Why ever have spent time on the streets, in the drug culture?" She shakes her head. "These are people who sincerely want to do your best, and then , well, things are happening. "
The Museum of the product is not defective products - very clean cemetery consumer capitalism. Photo: K Kelly Jones
The Museum of the defective product itself was some kind of accident, much happier. Its creator, a man now retired marketing named Robert McMath simply intended to build a "reference library" consumer products, not the failure itself. And so, from the 1960s, he began to buy and preserve a sample of each new element that could find. Soon, the collection outgrew its office in New York and was forced to move in a converted attic to receive it; later, GfK acquired by moving the stack of Michigan. What McMath had not counted on was the truth that was three words to demonstrate achievement of his career: "Most products fail." By some estimates, the failure rate is as high as 90%. Simply by collecting new products indiscriminately, McMath had assured that his treasure would be composed mainly unsuccessful.
By far the most striking thing about the museum, however, is to be a viable business for the benefit first. You may have assumed that all consumer products manufacturer worthy of the name would have its own such a collection - a resource carefully monitored for help to avoid mistakes of his rivals had. However, leaders who come each week to the gate of Jerez are proof of how this happens rarely. Product developers are so focused on their next expected success - so unwilling to invest the time or energy to think about your past failures industry - belatedly realize how much they need to access the GfK collection. Most surprising of all is that many designers who have found their way to the museum have come to review it - or have been surprised to discover - the products that their own companies were created and then abandoned. They were apparently so opposed to emphasize the unpleasant business of the fault not even had to keep samples of their own disasters the happiness trap
.
If you are not everywhere. It's just that most of the time prefer to avoid facing this fact.
Behind all popular modern approaches to happiness and success is the simple philosophy of focusing on things going well. But since the first philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome, a dissenting opinion suggests otherwise: it is our resolve to be happy, or to achieve certain objectives, which is precisely what makes us unhappy and sabotage our plans. And it is our constant pursuit to eliminate or ignore the negative - insecurity, uncertainty, failure, sadness - that makes us feel insecure, anxious, insecure or unhappy first location.
However, this conclusion does not have to be depressing. Instead, pointing to an alternative approach: a "negative way" to happiness, which involves taking a radically different position towards these things most of us spend our lives trying to avoid. This involves learning to appreciate the uncertainty, embracing insecurity and to become familiar with failure. To be truly happy, that is, could we really need to be willing to experience negative emotions - or at least stop running so hard for them.
In the world of self-help, the clearest expression of our optimism obsession is the technique called "positive view" Table back mentally many things, reasoning, and are much more likely to do so. In fact, a tendency to look on the bright side of this mode can be linked to human survival that evolution has distorted us this way. In his book, The optimism bias, neuroscientist Tali Sharot compiles evidence that a mind that works well can be built to collect the possibilities of things that happen and that's what they really are. People who do not depressed, the research suggests, typically have a less precise scope and too optimistic in their real ability to influence events that make those suffering from depression.
Still, there are problems with these perspectives, apart from just being disappointed when things do not go well. In recent years, the psychologist Gabriele Oettingen of German origin and his colleagues have built a series of experiments to find out the truth about "positive fantasies about the future." The results are surprising: spending time and energy focusing on how things could go, apparently, actually reduces motivation for most people to achieve. The experimental subjects were asked to reflect on how they were going to have a special week high job performance, for example, eventually came to less. In an ingenious experiment, participants had Oettingen made slightly dehydrated. Then some were taken through an exercise involving drink watching ice refreshing glass of water, while others took part in a different period. Water viewers have experienced a significant reduction in your energy levels, as measured by blood pressure. Far from becoming more motivated to hydrate, people responded positively to the relaxing view. Subconsciously they seemed to have successfully wrong to imagine that he has already accomplished.
Does not necessarily follow, of course, it would be a better idea to go to the negative view instead. Yet that is precisely one of the conclusions that emerge from Stoicism a school of philosophy that originated in Athens a few years after the death of Aristotle, and came to dominate Western thinking about happiness for almost five centuries.
For the Stoics, the ideal state of mind was quiet - not the excitable joy that positive thinkers in general, seem to mean when they use the word "happiness". And peace be achieved not pursuing pleasant experiences, but cultivating a kind of calm indifference to the circumstances of the ONE. One way to do this, the Stoics argued, was becoming negative emotions and experiences: not flee, but looking closely into place.
Most of us, the Stoics stress, going through life with the illusion that comes to certain people, situations or events that make us sad, anxious or angry. When you are irritated by a colleague at the table next to you will not stop talking, you naturally assume that the colleague is the source of the irritation; when you hear that a beloved relative is sick and feeling sorry for them, it makes sense to think of the disease as the source of pain. Look carefully at their experience, but, say the Stoics, and you will be forced to conclude that none of these external events is "negative" in itself. In fact, nothing out of his own mind, and can be described as negative or positive at all: what really causes suffering are the beliefs you have about these things. The colleague is not an irritant itself, but because of his belief that do their work without interruption is an important goal. Even the illness of a parent is only bad because of its belief that it is good for your family is not sick. Millions of people, after all, become ill every day; we have no belief whatsoever about most of them, and therefore we do not feel distressed.
For positive thinkers, it would be an argument for trying to replace their beliefs that cause discomfort with optimism. But when you think about the future, as the Stoics Seneca often actively residential advised in the worst case instead - confront. Not only the endless optimism of most impact when things go wrong (and they); imagine the worst also brings its own advantages. Psychologists have agreed for some time that one of the greatest enemies of human happiness is the "hedonic adaptation" - the predictable and frustrating way in which any new source of pleasure to get, be it as minor as a new electronic gadget or most, like a wedding, is quickly relegated to the background of our life: cultivate the habit, and fails to offer much joy. Therefore, regularly keeps reminding you that you can lose one of the things we currently enjoy can reverse the effect of adaptation. Thinking about the possibility of losing something you value changes in the context of his life to center stage, where it can offer the pleasure again.
The second benefit of this kind of negative, more subtle and perhaps more powerful thought is as an antidote for anxiety. Consider how Normally we try to dispel concerns about the future: we calm down, try to convince us that everything will be fine in the end. But reinsurance is a double-edged sword. In the short term, it can be wonderful, but like all forms of optimism, which requires constant maintenance: provide comfort a friend who is plagued by anxiety, and you will often find that a couple of days later, is will return more. Worse, comfort can exacerbate anxiety: When you reassure your friend that the worst case scenario, which fears that probably will not happen inadvertently reinforces his belief that it would be catastrophic if it did. Anxiety you hold the coil without loosening the happiness trap
.
Too often stoic notes, things will not become better. But it is also true that when they go wrong, almost certainly hurt less than feared. Losing a job is unlikely to put him to death and hunger; the loss of a relationship will not condemn him to a life of unmitigated misery. These fears are based on irrational judgments about the future. Worst of any future event, psychologist Albert Ellis influenced Stoic would say, "is usually exaggerated belief in their horror." Spend time vividly imagine exactly how things could go wrong in real life, and you often turn bottomless fears nebulae in the finite and manageable. Happiness achieved through positive thinking is fleeting and fragile; If vision generates a much more reliable calm.
Microwave scrambled eggs at the Museum of the failed product in Ann Arbor, Michigan - microwave breakfast scrambled eggs were saved. Photo: K Kelly Jones
Back to Museum of defective products, it is difficult to imagine how another drawback of culture positive thinking - an aversion to face failure - could have been responsible for the very existence of most of the products that line the shelves. Everyone should be done through a series of meetings in which nobody noticed that the product has been convicted. Perhaps no one wanted to contemplate the possibility of failure; maybe someone did, but did not want to put the discussion. Although they realize where things are going, there is a perverse incentive for traders to plow more money into a lemon: in this way, they can force some sales and preserve their dignity. When the truth becomes clear, the original developers have moved to other products or other companies. Little energy has been invested in discovering what went wrong; all involved have conspired, perhaps without realizing what they are doing, he never spoke again.
Another problem with our reluctance to think or analyze failure - is whether our own or others - is leading to a completely distorted picture of the causes of success. Bookstores are full of autobiographical volumes, as published in 2006 by billionaire publisher Felix Dennis entitled How to Get Rich: The distilled wisdom of one of the richest self-made businessmen in Britain. It's an entertaining read, send a message similar to many others: to make a fortune you need is obstinacy and willingness to take risks. But research by management theorist Jerker Denrell Oxford suggests they are as likely to be the characteristics of the extremely unsuccessful people, too. It's just that the failures do not write books. Rarely autobiographies of people who took risks that does not work then it looks.
Fortunately, the development of a healthier approach to failure may be easier than you think. The work of psychologist Carol Dweck, Stanford University suggests that our experiences of failure are mainly influenced by the beliefs we have about the nature of talent and ability - and we can, perhaps downright pushing towards a better perspective. Each of us can be placed somewhere on a continuum, Dweck says, based on our "constructive vision" - or tacit attitude - what talent is and where it comes. Those with a "set theory" Suppose the innate ability, those with "the incremental theory" believe that changing challenge and hard work. If you're the type of person who strives valiantly to avoid the experience of failure, it is likely that you live near the "fixed" final continuum Dweck. People set theory approach to challenges and opportunities in which they are called to demonstrate his innate abilities, and thus meet the particularly horrible failure: for them is a sign that they have tried to show how good they are, but not measure. The classic example is the young star of the sport encouraged to see themselves as "natural" - but then do not submit practical enough to realize their potential. If talent is innate, their reasoning is implied, so why bother?
People are different incremental theory. Because emerging as think through challenges, the experience of failure has a completely different meaning for them: it is the proof that they are stretching themselves to their current limits. If they are not, they do not fail. The relevant analogy here is weight training: muscles grow to be pushed to the limits of its current capacity, where the tear and reheal fibers. Among weightlifters, "training to failure" is not an admission of defeat - it is a strategy the happiness trap
.
Fortunately, Dweck studies indicate that we are not overwhelmed by life with a state of mind rather than the other. Some people manage to change their views by just being present in the fixed increment contradistinction. Moreover, it is worth trying to remember the next failure strikes again: the next time you fail a test, or mishandles a social situation, consider that this is happening only because you are pushing the limits of their capabilities current. And if you want to support an additional perspective on their children, Dweck advises, make sure to congratulate them for their efforts, rather than their intelligence, focusing on the latter is likely to exacerbate a fixed mindset that making them more reluctant to risk not meeting the future. Incremental mentality is more likely to lead to lasting success. But the deeper point is that owning an incremental approach is a way to be happier, whether or not it leads to a remarkable success. It's a win-win proposal, for which the only prerequisite is a sincere desire to lose.
Oily hair shampoo Perhaps no one wanted to contemplate the possibility that these products lack. Photo: K Kelly Jones
The gurus of positivity and optimism can not bear to be aware that there can be no happiness is to embrace failure as a failure, not only as a technique for success. But as the Zen influenced writer Natalie Goldberg argues, there is an open and honest in a failure, a reality check with the feet on the ground can seem lacking altitudes greater success. Perfectionism is a feature that many people seem secretly or not so secretly proud to own, since there appears to be a character flaw. But basically it is a fear-based experience to avoid failure at all costs effort. In extreme cases, it is an exhausting and stressful way to live permanently: there is a strong correlation between perfectionism and suicide, researchers found that among the feelings of hopelessness and suicide. To fully embrace the experience of failure, not only to tolerate as a springboard to fame, it is to abandon the constant voltage never put a foot wrong - and relax the happiness trap
.
0 التعليقات:
إرسال تعليق